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“The whole issue in Michigan — the left loves to, they’re now creating this, I’m sorry, I’m going to really go out on a limb here, this Zika virus which I haven’t talked about,” Rios said. “They love to come up with tragedies and they love to blame and they love to scare people. I think this issue in Michigan is a serious one, but I don’t think it’s the big issue that these other issues are.”
“That kind of leads into the other thing, that someone that really batsh*t crazy scores, like, 10 percent in Iowa,” Black said. “I mean, seriously.”Black agreed with host Larry Wilmore and two other panelists, Rory Albanese and Franchesca Ramsey, that Sen. Marco Rubio likely posed the most serious challenge to Hillary Clinton.
“The other thing with him, we’re going to watch on-the-job training, and I just can’t do this again,” he said. “I mean, Barack Obama, part of the problem was on-the-job training.”Wilmore suggested that racist opposition to Obama played a bigger role in limiting his accomplishments, and Black agreed to a point.
“It was absolutely that, but also it was dealing with — it’s the same position of a guy who’s in the Senate who hasn’t been in the Senate long enough,” Black said.Wilmore pointed out that Sen. Ted Cruz, who won the GOP caucuses in Iowa, has a similar background — and Black feigned a heart attack.
“Here’s what Rubio’s problem is right now — both Trump and Cruz are both bullies,” Black said. “So I think that they’re going to kind of punch him. What I really find interesting about Cruz, after everything else, is that people don’t seem to have noticed that he is a bully. Trump is an obvious bully. Cruz is the bully who acts weird, and he’s acting weird all the time, and so you end up doing what the weird guy wants you to do so he’ll stop acting weird.”
“I believe there’s a touch, and I know this will offend you, there’s a touch of ferret in his family,” he said.
“Thanks for sticking up for us, Donald — oh, you came in second? Go fuck yourself,” Colbert said.Despite the loss, Clownstick vowed to return to Iowa “many, many times,” and he even suggested he might buy a farm there.
|DEAD CLOWN WALKING|
“You’ve spoken a lot about using common sense and using your brain, and I really appreciate that,” Schnall said. “And in some of the questions in the debates, you responded that you really seek the input of experts.”He continued: “The experts in the scientific community overwhelmingly agree that climate change is a problem. Can you explain that discrepancy, and why you’re not willing to listen to the experts?”
“I don’t subscribe to the politicization of the environment, because that’s what leads to things like the Clean Power Plan,” Carson said, referring to Obama’s regulations to limit carbon emissions from coal power plants. “The EPA has said that if we implement every aspect of the Clean Power Plan, it will lower the temperature of the Earth by 0.05 degrees Fahrenheit… that’s the benefit. The cost is billions of dollars and millions of jobs. That doesn’t make any sense, because that is ideologically driven.”There’s a lot to unpack about Carson’s comments on the Clean Power Plan. For one, he said that regulations would be useless because they would only make a small dent in global temperatures. But that’s scientifically misleading — no one regulation in any one country can be significant enough to make a big dent in global temperatures. However, considering the United States is currently the world’s second-largest carbon emitter and by far its largest historically, the idea is that the U.S. must act first to motivate other countries to do the same.
“If he’s going to stand up there and say we need to listen to the experts, and we need to use our brains — 97 percent of the scientific community agrees on this one,” he said. “It’s not just politicizing the issue. It’s a little more than that.”
“This is a sick and vile move by a guy who likes to throw those words around: Donald Trump,” Ferguson said to CNN host Chris Cuomo. “To use Wounded Warriors and their true battle scars to his political advantage, I would say this to Katrina: I’m not dumb enough to buy that this is about the veterans, because Donald Trump has never held an event for the veterans on his campaign.”Ferguson also called Trump out for trying to stop veterans from selling items near his hotel on Fifth Avenue. According to a report by the New York Daily News, Trump lobbied lawmakers for years to limit vendors, which included disabled veterans, from selling items outside his swank property.
“So for him to come out now and to self-righteously say, ‘I’m gonna stand up for veterans, and I’m going to do an event that I haven’t had time to do’ until it was convenient for him tonight, many veterans are going to be turned off by this,” Ferguson said. “They went and fought for their country and now Donald Trump uses them as political pawns.”Cuomo said the head of the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, Paul Rieckhoff, said the organization would take no donations from Trump.
[cross-posted from thinkprogress]
“Donald Trump, I really truly believe is a dangerous man,” Beck warned GOP voters during a CNN interview. “I’m here to talk to you about the Constitution and what I believe is an absolute right or wrong… The mood of the country is very angry but you never make a good decision when you are angry.”Beck added that he did not mind being personally insulted by Trump, saying, “Look at me, there’s lots of jokes to be made.”
“But here’s the thing,” Cuomo pointed out. “Is there a little bit of reap what you sow in some of this with the GOP, that engendering an oppositional mode towards government, in ratcheting up negativity as a mainline discourse, you wound up somewhat birthing Donald Trump?”“And now some of those people who were angry about what was going on and telling people to be angry, now they’ve got somebody who is harnessing the power of exactly that, and you’re disappointed,” the CNN host said.
“The progressive movement, and that is what this is — Donald Trump is a progressive, make no mistake,” Beck remarked. “The progressive party was started by Theodore Roosevelt, it was started by a Republican.”
“Bernie Sanders is at least honest about who he is,” the former Fox News host continued. “He’s not afraid to say, ‘I’m a socialist and I think we should be more like Denmark.'”
“The real question that is before America is this: Do we believe in socialism or constitutionalism?” he asked. “Those should be the two candidates in the United States of America, and let the people decide.”
“Are we going socialist or back to the Constitution? That’s a fair and honest debate.”
“No, not at all,” she replied. “These tweets — I’m an activist and I am a half-breed. I’m always getting called a half-breed. And on Twitter when you’re fighting with liberals and even establishment, you go back at them in the same silliness they are giving you.”
“So, I myself am a half-breed,” Pierson added. “We have entered silly season. Donald Trump is up in the polls. There’s desperate campaigns out there, they can’t take him down so they try to take down the people that are around him. And we’re just not going to get distracted by all that nonsense.”
“She’s a firecracker. She’s a real pistol,” Trump said to the camera before pausing and adding a knowing smile, “She’s crazy, isn’t she?”Then Fey as Palin went completely nuts.
“How tough can you rugged individualists be when the first thing you did after storming the rest stop was to post an appeal online for supplies — a shopping list, really, that included such items as throw rugs, shampoo, foot warmers, and French vanilla coffee creamer. What, no scrunchies so you can braid each other’s hair?”If they were so “ready to die,” Maher mocked, the country had plenty of wars available.
“You can go fight ISIS, ’cause what you’re doing isn’t saving the republic,” he said. “It’s more like when you’re a kid and you run away from home by hiding in the backyard.”
“It’s interesting that this Yale student and this hammerhead in the woods think they’re political opposites,” he said. “Really they’re the same person: martyrs without a cause, whipping themselves up into a lather for issues that would better be addressed with Xanax.”
“Trump loves the Bible so much he doesn't even need to read it,” Colbert said.The Republican presidential front-runner drew laughs from students by mispronouncing 2 Corinthians as “Two Corinthians” — rather than “Second Corinthians.”
“Saying ‘Two Corinthians’ is like saying ‘The Book of Job,'” Colbert said, making the aggrieved biblical figure’s name a homonym for the work Trump warns that immigrants will steal from Americans. “The Mexicans are coming here into our country to steal our book of jobs. But ‘the pander express’ did not stop there.”Trump also gave an interview to the Christian Broadcast Network’s David Brody, who asked the celebrity billionaire if he ever cried. Trump, of course, said he wasn’t “a big crier.”
“Real men don’t cry,” Colbert said. “Donald Trump is a real man. How do we know? Because he just got endorsed by the manliest man who ever manned.”
“That’s right, with his newfound spirituality, Trump has reached with his golden hand through the veil of death and dragged back the endorsement of John Wayne — the Duke, the toughest man not alive,” Colbert said. “For anyone who doubts this endorsement, consider this: If John Wayne were alive, he would be a 108-year-old white guy — and that sounds like a Trump voter to me.”
“God I have missed you,” Colbert said to Palin’s photo. “It’s like a magical eagle made a wish on a flag pin and it came to life — which is great for me. While Trump, admittedly, has given me so much material to make jokes about, nobody compares to the original ‘material girl.'”He played a montage of Palin revisiting some her catchphrase “greatest hits” during the endorsement speech, and but she also showed off some new prattling idioms — and even transcended language itself at several points.
“Sarah Palin just guaranteed Trump the evangelical vote because I think she was speaking in tongues,” Colbert said, blowing a kiss toward her photo. “I just wish she could endorse every candidate, because I think it would sound something like this.”
“The fact of the matter is, most of them are childless single men who masturbate to anime,” Wilson told MSNBC host Chris Hayes. “They’re not real political players. These are not people who matter in the overall course of humanity.”
“I don’t think that this other stuff that Trump is toying with is part of the mainstream conservative movement by any stretch of the imagination,” he added.
“The question to me is, this is all going to be tested, right?” Hayes responded. “I agree with you; there are large parts of people who are avowed Republicans and conservatives who genuinely care about limited government. But what we’re seeing right now is this sort of electoral test. And that’s what makes today so fascinating, this fight so fascinating.”Hayes noted that, as The Week reported, “paleo-conservative” columnist Samuel Francis advised then-presidential candidate Pat Buchanan to pursue a line of rhetoric similar to Trump’s in 1996.
“[Francis] basically said, ‘Your best path is just get rid of all the conservatism — all the limited government, deficits, all that stuff — and just go whole hog on, essentially, ethno-nationalism.”What The Week’s Michael Brendan Doughterty argued, the host said, was that Trump’s rise over more established politicians in the polls showed “just how thin the support for their ideas really is.”
“I think that’s absurd,” Wilson replied, arguing that support for limited government principles constituted a “very significant portion of the party.”
“The screamers and the crazy people on the all-right as they call it, you know, who love Donald Trump, who have plenty of Hitler iconography in their Twitter icons and names,” he continued.
“They sure do. I can back that up,” Hayes replied.
|FUCKFACE VON CLOWNSTICK AGAIN COMPARED TO APE|
“He lacks consciousness as well as integrity. The Republicans and Mr Trump are selling hate and fear. That is the opposite of what our Country stands for. Let’s go forward with light and love into the future. Global Peace is within our grasp in this lifetime. Pull humanity up, take the high road and look at the aerial view. Peace on Earth now, not later.”
“He’s doubled-down on this issue of New York City values,” Stephanopoulos explained. “He lumped you in yesterday with Hillary Clinton, Andrew Cuomo and Bill de Blasio.”
“The truth is he’s a nasty guy, nobody likes him,” Trump replied. “Nobody in Congress likes him. He’s a very — he’s got a edge that’s not good. You can’t make deals with people like that. It’s not a good thing for the country. Very nasty guy.”
“I’m leading Ted Cruz by a lot. The polls are showing that I’m on the upswing. He’s on a big down swing. But if you look at what he said and the way he said it and the scorn toward New York, I think it’s a disgrace,” the billionaire opined. “He’s putting down the great people of New York. Who could have done what New Yorkers did under that unbelievable circumstance [after 9/11]?”