South Carolina LIVE

19:25: Ironic? 15 years to the day Eye of Newt was found guilty of ethics violations, today he wins SC. Just goes to show you that republicans could care less about character!

19:31: BREAKING: NFTOS predicts Eye-Of-Newt Winner in  South Carolina, Romney now considering adultery to maintain republican standards and win Florida!

19:38: Not content with firing the first shots in the South's losing war against the United States of America, South Carolina today reaffirmed their status as inbred morons by handing a victory to Newt Gingrich in the Republican primary.

1941: Interesting to note that cable news is going by the exit polls which appear to give Newt the win. With 3% of precincts reporting: Mitt 36%, Newt 34%, Santorum 14%, Ron Paul 10%.

19:45: Andy Borowitz: Gingrich Victory Statement: "I've left Romney behind faster than a woman with cancer."
NFTOS is still interested to see how many women voted for Newty after his despicable marriage history has been made public, and the exact numbers for each candidate to get a feel for how long the infighting in the clown show will continue and how many of the lunatics will be in the upcoming bash fests.

19:58: I hate to bust the Gingrich bubble, but lets keep in mind and don't forget...The Newtster didn't even manage to get on the ballot in my state of Virginia.

20:00 I am really pulling for you Newt Gingrich! You're the only candidate, besides Ron Paul, who might give President Obama a 50 state victory! GO NEWT!

20:01: When I think of the teapublican POTUS pool, I am reminded of a quote: If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. ~ George Carlin

20:04 16% of vote in and Newt-ron-bomb up 12 points.

20:08: Gingrich says he got a call from Obama: “He stopped laughing just long enough to say congratulations.”

20:11: At Flipflopney's concession speech tonight he confirmes that he is consulting with senior advisors about the best way to proceed with an inappropriate relationship.

20:15: Blurb from Romney loser speech: "We still believe that America is a shining city on a hill, down from which I will deliver edicts to my loyal peons and serfs toiling in my fields."

20:18: For those of you playing the "family game" tonight, you should be completely shit faced by now due to the plethora of times we have heard family values tonight...I don't ever want to hear teapublicans talk about "family values" again.

20:23: Ron Paul squelching at lecturn as we post, at the rate that his popularity is growing, he'll win a primary by the time he's 129 yrs old.

20:25: The Paulbots are going to be pissed off
ABC News projects that Rick Santorum will take 3rd & Ron Paul 4th in South Carolina.

20:35 49% of the vote in Newt-ron-bomb up 12 points.

20:53: This is the first time Republicans have ever split Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina three ways. And we all know that Newt's into 3-ways.

20:57:

This is an incredible performance by Newt, and is a disaster for Romney. Could there be any greater repudiation of the putative frontrunner?.

South Carolina facts: 28% of South Carolina is black. 99% of GOP primary votes were white.

21:04: Obama on Newt's win: "I haven't been this happy since we smoked bin Laden."

21:08: Flipflopney has a major issue, and the longer he bullshitz us on it the faster he falls. He is very close to reaching terminal velocity, and what a thud he will make we he splatters on terra firma. The gravitational pull of tax diclosure is a bitch Mittens!

21:12: Newt's speech is being delayed as his staffers trie to find a black person to heckle him.
 
21:14: 78% of the SC vote in, Newt-ron-bomb still holding 13 points.

21:20: BREAKING: John King of CNN gets a French kiss from Newt-ron-bomb as Newt apologizes for his rant towards King's "almost despicable" first debate question. For certainly it pushed this big swing over flipflopney.

21:22: For information, Newt by the numbers:
 
84- Ethics violations
3- Wives
500,000- Amount in $ of his Tiffany's bill
1,600,000- Amount in $ earned as a lobbyist for Freddie Mac
22- Rubber checks written by Newt in the house banking scandal
300,000- Amount in $ of fines related to his 84 ethics violations

21:25: This, from a teapublican:

21:27: A sign of Gingrich's new confidence: he just changed his Facebook status to "in an open relationship."

21:28: 91 % of the vote in, still a 13 point lead by Newt-ron-bomb.

21:35: Chris Mathews so eloquently says:

"...A shameless display of individual wealth...not about economics, not about jobs. Bragging about wealth, bragging about success and not even claiming that his individual success has anything to do with creating employment for anyone else."

Speaking on Flipflopney.

21:38: Flipflopney a sore loser and rips Gingrich:

"Our party cannot be led to victory by someone who also has never run a business, and never run a state," Romney declared. "We cannot defeat [President Obama] with a candidate who has joined in that very assault on free enterprise."

 "Those who pick up the weapons of the left today will find them used against them tomorrow," Romney continued, adding that Republicans who embrace such attacks aren't fit to be the nominee."

21:41: Newt-ron gives self pat on back for creating 16 million jobs under his God Ronnie, and 11 million with Clinton.

21:44: Newt railes against "anti-religion bigots elites", because nothing says "religious values" more than his marital history.

21:46: Newt's Ignorance with food stamp claim.

21:56  97% of the vote still no change.

 22:09: Newt-ron-bombs speech was far from Presidential, just more regurgitation of Us Vs Them. Newt sounded more like Virginian Edmund Ruffin whom fired the first shot of the Civil War on Fort. Sumter than a man running for POTUS. What can we expect from future Newt-ron-bomb speeches? Just envision Michele Bachman in Newt-ron-bombs nasty pasty lard ass.

22:12: Alright readers, I'm calling it a night. Thanks for joining us, and thanks for sharing this awesome evening for the Democratic Party and President Barack Obama. This was our first "Liveblog" and it was a huge success, with a peak high 12,321 readers on at one time. High fives all around!

Roger

FAMILY GAME NIGHT

Family Game Night

Why have a boring night this evening? Its raining and snowing along the East Coast corridor, no better way to have family game night; sit around and watch the South Carolina Primary Elections with family and friends and play a little drinking game.

Will the flipflopney carry the day, give a brief victory speech and burn the hard copies of his tax returns before leaving Columbia? Will Rick Santorum bribe the electorate with fresh, slave-sewn sweater vests? Will Ron Paul, the tragic story of the political clown, fade into its final silence? Will the Eye-of- Newt eviscerate his opponents, along with a significant portion of their wives and mistresses? Only time will tell.

For us at home, it’s a great excuse to get at least moderately buzzed and bask for a few hours in the illusion that these people have no consequence in shaping our collective future whatsoever. So toast your exes, toast your distant relatives, whatever makes you feel more comfortable than Republican presidential candidates, and join the world in a game. The rules are pretty simple (for best results, make sure you have shitty rum on hand that tastes like nail polish and slides down the throat like wood stain).

During exit poll coverage:
Every time you hear family values, take a shot.

When you hear that women voted for any of them, even once, in any part of the state, take a shot and recite the Lord’s prayer.

Whenever you hear Ron Paul and young people in the same sentence, take a swig straight from the bottle, since government regulations probably had something to do with the manufacture of your glass.

During the results:
If Newt wins, take one shot for every one of his mistresses, and, if you’re still standing, make sure you have the money to get enough popcorn to last you through the primary season.

If Santorum wins, actually if Santorum wins you should just sober up and buy several pairs of long pants.

If Paul wins, drink everything alcoholic in the house, lie down, wait the next day through the hangover, make a pot or three of coffee, get on the internet, and double-check. If after that the world still says he won, start calling your friends from college (hey, if he wins, you guys can go into the newly legalized weed industry while everyone around you dies as a result of massive food shortages and lack of healthcare).

If Romney wins, take one shot to celebrate Mitt 2012’s victory and another to console Mitt 2008, who, after all, just lost.

If you have to, go out and buy double glasses. After all, these days politics is harder on the spectators than the participants.


Edited for content. Game created by Gil Wildridge addicting.info



NFTOS
Staff Writer
"Damn Nazi Liberal"