“PROJECTILE VOMIT OF DICKISHNESS”

TRUMP SPEWING "PROJECTILE VOMIT OF DICKISHNESS"

Jon Stewart returned to The Daily Show on Monday to scoff at Republicans who are suddenly willing to distance themselves from Donald Trump — but only after he bad-mouthed one of their own in Arizona Sen. John McCain.

“The only reason you like this guy in the first place is because of the terrible things he was willing to say about Obama,” he said. “But Trump has no control over the projectile vomit of dickishness that comes out of his mouth every time he opens it. It was inevitable some of his word puke was gonna get on you.”

The GOP should have known better, Stewart said, because the party had been down the same road in 2008 with Sarah Palin and her “Wasilla word salad.”

“Once you cast a spell and bring an Internet comment to life, it no longer belongs to you,” he explained. “Only this time, the chatroom troll emoji you’ve conjured has $10 billion of its own money.”

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Stewart also shot down Trump’s claim that he actually reversed course immediately after saying McCain was “not a war hero.” In fact, the host pointed out, Trump said, “He’s a war hero because he got captured.”

He also laughed off Trump’s complaining to NBC News that while “his hair is fine,” nobody comes to his defense when people make fun of his hair.

“First things first: your hair’s not fine,” Stewart said. “I agree, making fun of someone’s physical appearance is a cheap blow. But that hair? That is comedy entrapment. People are not attacking your hair — they are defending themselves from something that appears like it’s about to attack them.”

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Roger West

“ARCHAIC SYMBOL OF RACIST INSURRECTION”

Wednesday’s Daily Show started off by picking apart people defending the Confederate battle flag by saying it reflects their “heritage,” arguing that no matter how they choose to remember their ancestors; the nation at large will remember them for fighting to preserve slavery.

“It’d be like saying you support flying the Nazi flag because you’re proud of their robust anti-smoking agenda,” Stewart explained. “But that wasn’t really their thing.”

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With Southern lawmakers now openly calling for at least discussing taking down the flag in their respective states, Stewart said, it was getting harder to find people willing to defend their “archaic symbol of racist insurrection.”

Stewart then took on an official from the Sons of Confederate Veterans who said that taking down that flag would lead to a “slippery slope.”

“Let me explain to you how the ‘slippery slope’ argument usually works: usually when you do the ‘slippery slope’ argument, you like to end it in something bad,” Stewart said. “You don’t go like, ‘The next thing, black children don’t have to go to schools named after men who wouldn’t have allowed them to learn how to read.'”

While hoping that the debate surrounding the flag would spur a larger conversation concerning systemic racism in the US, Stewart suggested an alternative all Americans could support — a flag depicting a pig being barbecued.

“That’s how barbecue was probably invented: an ingenious Southerner saw a pig on fire and thought, ‘I can work with this,” he said.

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Roger West

BULLSHIT MOUNTAINS HYPOCRISY ON THE CHARLESTON SHOOTING

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart opened his show last night by taking on the hypocrites over at Bullshit Mountain AKA Fox News for their kvetching that President Obama and the left have supposedly "politicized and polarized" the massacre in Charleston, South Carolina. Of course after any of these events its "too early" to have a discussion about gun control, or racism – or anything else they'd prefer we not talk about when the fire is burning bright.


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Despite the pleas from Bullshit Mountain to not address what has transpired - the public is rising up and demanding that the Confederate flag be removed from the grounds of the state capitol.

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Roger West

"THIS WASN'T A TORNADO. THIS WAS A RACIST"

Jon Stewart addressed Wednesday night’s terrorist attack at a historic black church in Charleston.

“I didn’t do my job today. So I apologize,” Stewart told his audience on Thursday. “I got nothin’ for you in terms of jokes and sounds, because of what happened in South Carolina. And maybe if I wasn’t near the end of the run, or this wasn’t such a common occurrence, maybe I could’ve pulled out of the spiral. But I didn’t. And so, I honestly have nothing, other than just sadness.”

Rather than delve into the politics surrounding the shooting inside the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church that left nine people dead, Stewart said, he was stunned by the “disparity of response” surrounding the incident. Had the suspect, 21-year-old Dylann Roof, been an “Islamic terrorist,” the US would have invaded his home country, filled the sky with drones or torture people in the name of safety.

Instead, he argued, people were shrugging their shoulder and saying, “What are you gonna do? Crazy is as crazy is, right?,” as the coverage devolved into “the nuanced language of lack of effort.”

“This wasn’t a tornado. This was a racist,” Stewart said of Roof. “This was a guy with a Rhodesia badge on his sweater. I hate to even use this pun, but this one is black and white. There’s no nuance here.”

He also tore into what he described as the prejudice steeped into the culture, noting that several roads in South Carolina are named after Confederate generals, who fought a war to keep black people from being able to use them.

“That’s insanity. That’s racial wallpaper,” Stewart said. “You can’t allow that. Nine people were shot in a black church by a white guy who hated them, who wanted to start some sort of civil war. The Confederate flag flies over South Carolina, and the roads are named for Confederate generals. And the white guy’s the one who feels like his country’s being taken away from him.”

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COMICS REJOICE AS FODDER KING DONALD J. TRUMP AKA “FUCKFACE VON CLOWNSTICK” ENTERS THE CIRCUS

STEWART REJOICES OVER TRUMP RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT

 As we all hoped and prayed he would, Jon Stewart opened The Daily Show Tuesday night with the “gift from heaven” that Donald Trump — “Fuckface Von Clownstick” himself — was entering the presidential race.

“Thank you, Donald Trump, for making my last six weeks my best six weeks,” Stewart said. “He is putting me in some kind of comedy hospice, where all I’m getting is just straight morphine

Stewart quips started early, with Trump riding “Stair Force One” to make his announcement at Trump Tower in New York City.

“I haven’t seen an entrance that majestic since my friend met me at The Gap after grabbing an Orange Julius”.

Stewart said, was a half-hour of “beautifully ridiculous jibber-jabber” from Trump that included smearing Mexico for allegedly sending drug dealers and rapists to the US while claiming “no disrespect.”

“It’s amazing! America’s id is running for president. Trump is the part of your brain at 3 a.m. that’s like, ‘let’s go take a shit in a mailbox. Come on, who’s gonna know?'”

Stewart’s final show, slated for Aug. 6, falls on the same night as the first GOP primary debate, which could include Trump if he stays among the top 10 Republicans.

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The comedy alone from Fuckface Von Clownstick should be enough entertainment to last for eons. 

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Blogger-In-Chief

Roger West

WHAAAAAAAT?

Daily Show host Jon Stewart and his team mocked Fox News on Monday for taking the weird story of Rachel Dolezal and feeding it to their “exhausting, 24-hour Benghazi Obamaphone culture war dog whistle Who-gives-a-fuckotron.”

Stewart himself was somewhat befuddled that Dolezal, a white woman of Czech, Swedish and German descent, would go so far as to not only pretend to be black, but become head of the Spokane chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) before resigning amid a hail of criticism after her ruse was made public.

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“BYE BYE BUGGIE”

Jon Stewart mocked lawmakers and President Barack Obama for trying to scare Americans into supporting the Patriot Act.

He played clips of several senators blasting Sen. Rand Paul, who forced the expiration of some provisions of the legislation passed in the wake of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

“I’ve run for president twice, but I would never stoop to something like this,” said Sen. John McCain, in one video clip.

Stewart showed a photo of Sarah Palin and wondered how McCain had not yet learned not to set himself up for jokes about his former running mate.

“I imagine McCain out jogging with an out-of-shape friend, and he’s like, you’re the most useless running mate I’ve ever had – what, why are you laughing?” Stewart said.

To celebrate the break in the collection of bulk metadata by phone companies, Stewart decided to call an old friend – John Oliver.

“Penis, penis, penis,” he shouted into the phone to a bewildered Oliver.

Stewart pointed out that the surveillance provisions had not prevented terrorist attacks at Fort Hood, the Boston Marathon, and the anti-Islam comic show in Garland, Texas – even though the government was tracking each of those suspects.

“If the Patriot Act is acting so poorly, why do we have to keep it?” he said.

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JON STEWART TALKS BALTIMORE RIOTS

Jon Stewart gives his take on what’s transpired in Baltimore.

“HONEY NO SCHOOL, ITS RIOT DAY”

Video Courtesy of Comedy Central

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STEWART EXPLAINS WHY ITS TIME TO GO

Two months after Jon Stewart announced his retirement from hosting The Daily Show, the Guardian released an extensive profile of the comedian that includes several quotes indicating why he decided to ride off into the sunset.

The piece itself is lengthy and thorough — highly recommended porch reading for this beautiful weekend weather. But if you’re looking for a distillation of the key quotes, look no further.

What seems to be the main reason for his departure? As yet another election rolls around, it’s time to find something new. “I’d covered an election four times, and it didn’t appear that there was going to be anything wildly different about this one,” he told the Guardian.

Much of the profile suggests Stewart has become increasingly wary of the absurdities of our daily news culture. For instance, the Hillary Clinton email scandal “is absolutely everything that it’s supposed to be about,” he said, reportedly with a groan. As the interviewer wrote of his attitude towards this and other political stories, “it managed to be at once depressing and completely unsurprising.”

Stewart also said that leaving right before a major election was the best way to ensure the show has a smooth transition. “You don’t want to leave when the cupboard’s bare,” he said. So I think it’s a better introduction when you have something providing you with assisted fuel, like a presidential campaign. But really, the value of this show is so much deeper than my contribution.”

As for whether the show will survive with him: “If Oprah can leave and the world still spins, I honestly think it will survive me.”

And whether he’ll miss the cable news networks he gets paid to skewer: “Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing,” he said. “I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don’t get turd lung disease.”

The Guardian also asked whether he’d ever watch Fox News again: “All right, let’s say that it’s a nuclear winter, and I have been wandering, and there appears to be a flickering light through what appears to be a radioactive cloud and I think that light might be a food source that could help my family. I might glance at it for a moment until I realize, that’s Fox News, and then I shut it off. That’s the circumstance.”

Read the full profile here.

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Roger West

RECOLLECTIONS PIZZA

The Daily Show's Jordan Klepper decided he needed to get in on that anti-gay gravy train after watching the Indiana pizzeria make over $800,000 in donations rewarding their bigotry. After watching Memories Pizza rake in the dough this week from their GoFundMe drive started by Glenn Beck and Dana Loesch, The Daily Show correspondent explained to Stewart what his plans were to start a successful fundraising drive of his own.


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Perhaps the “fundy bigots” should move to Saudi Arabia, as they seem to agree on the really important things of life.

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Roger West

JON STEWART HAMMERS BULLSHIT MOUNTAIN FOR ITS DOUBLE STANDARD

Daily Show host Jon Stewart slayed Fox News on Thursday for hypocritically demanding that “Hands Up Don’t Shoot” protesters apologize after refusing to admit that it was wrong in reporting on the Benghazi embassy attacks.

“They demand accountability for anger and divisiveness whilst holding themselves entirely unaccountable for their anger and divisiveness. For two years, they used Benghazi as shorthand, as a symbol for the whole concept of a corrupt, lying, tyrannical — possibly murderous — Obama White House,” Stewart said. “Kind of how other people used ‘Hands Up Don’t Shoot’ as a symbol for systemic racism. There’s really only one difference between the two phenomena: systemic racism actually exists.”

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Stewart pointed out that, while Fox hosts have focused all of their attention on a Justice Department report finding no evidence that Michael Brown had his hands up when he was shot and killed by Officer Darren Wilson last year, they have pointedly ignored that the department also found extensive evidence that Wilson’s colleagues on the Ferguson Police Department systematically targeted the city’s black residents for citations and traffic stops — a pattern of discrimination which lent itself to a flashpoint incident like the shooting.

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Roger West

"White Conservative Victimization"

The Daily Show lampooned Fox News for turning Selma commemoration into “white conservative victimization

As only bullshit Mountain can.

VIDEO COURTESY OF COMEDY CENTRAL




A day without a Chicken-Little-whining smear with a talking point twist - is a day without Fox.

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Blogger-In-Chief

Roger West

FERGUSON PROTESTORS WERE RIGHT

YOUR LIFE AS AN AFRICAN AMERICAN IN FERGUSON MISSOURI

Jon Stewart observed on The Daily Show on Thursday that the Department of Justice’s (DOJ) findings regarding the shooting of Michael Brown and police in Ferguson, Missouri last year had something for everyone — including Fox News.

“Let the self-vindicating gloating begin,” Stewart said before showing clips of Megyn Kelly and Sean Hannity saying the federal investigation exonerated Officer Darren Wilson, who killed Brown.

But while the department opted not to charge Wilson in connection with the shooting, Stewart pointed out, it also described an institutionalized system of racially-biased policing in the city as a whole.





The story reeks - and is utterly fucking disgusting! Merica, you have a long way to go.

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Blogger-In-Chief

Roger West

HEY RUDY, YOU DON’T OWN 9/11

RUDY GIULIANI PHOTO COURTESY OF JOSH PERRIN

Jon Stewart of the Daily Show railed on Ex-New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani for claiming the President has no love for his country.

For weeks Giuliani has been on the war path of how much Obama hates America. The “Call of Rudy” tour has been relentless right-wing gibberish – Giuliani not just doubling down on his ludicrousness, but tripling down without stopping for a breath.

Stewart explained that “Giuliani was so far out on the deep end on this that even running to the usually loving arms of Megyn Kelly didn't work out so well and he had to turn to Fox's Hannity instead to have his hatred validated.

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Stewart, in his final synopsis of the issue mocked Rudy for pretending Obama doesn't love America because he wants to "transform it" - just like the former New York mayor once said he wanted to do with his city.

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Roger West

INFOTAINMENT CONFUSION SYNDROME

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart weighed in on the Brian Williams debacle and his tales about taking fire in Iraq and whether or not he was suffering from a case of "infotainment confusion syndrome" where the “celebrity cortex” gets its wires crossed with the "medulla-anchor-dala."

After having a bit more fun with Williams and showing the media frenzy over the scandal, Stewart told the audience that this might seem a bit overblown, but he was actually happy.

Finally, someone is being held to account for misleading America about the Iraq War! Finally! Now, it might not necessarily be the first person you'd want held accountable on that list, but never again will Brian Williams mislead this great nation about being shot at in a war we probably wouldn't have ended up in if the media had applied this level of certainty to the actual fucking war.

After verbally bitch slapping the whiners opining over whether the media has a "credibility problem" following the ruckus with Williams, Stewart reminded his audience of the batch of lies we were fed leading up to the invasion of Iraq, and wondered if the incident with Williams would cause any reflection on their part. I think we all already know what the answer to that question is.

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Roger West

IMPLODY AWARDS

JONI ERNST SHOE WEATHER PROTECTOR 

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart had to pick a winner for this year's "Implody Award" given for "unforced response errors" to President Obama's State of the Union address Tuesday night.

Previous winners included Marco Rubio, Michele Bachmann and Bob McDonnell and Stewart wondered who was going home with the "Implody" this year.

This years contestants were the official response given by "tea party" - the Koch Brothers favorite, Senator Hog Balls herself, Joni Ernst. As Stewart joked, if her job was to humanize the Republican Party, she failed epically.

Next up was Rep. Curt Clawson who gave the "official" "tea party" response, which was apparently filled with lots of basketball talk and immigrant bashing for good measure.

Not to be outshined, next up we had Sen. Rand Paul and his You Tube response, and his whining about how awful "liberal elites" are, which Stewart did a wonderful job responding to.

And finally, not want to be left out of the circus, Mr. Green Eggs and Ham AKA, Ted Cruz with the response he wishes he had back.

Drum roll please, and the winner is……..

Video Courtesy of Comedy Central

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Blogger-In-Chief

Roger West

JON STEWART TO FOX & FRIENDS TROLL BRIAN KILMEADE: "FUCK YOU!"

STEWART RESPONDING TO FOX & FRIENDS

MEDIA COUNTER-ERRORISM:

As upset as he was over an “unforced error” on Monday, Daily Show host Jon Stewart saved the most anger for Fox & Friends host Brian Kilmeade for invoking the 9/11 attacks to paint Stewart as being anti-police.

“By the way, jackass, you can truly grieve for every officer who’s been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach,” Stewart said. “Those two ideas are not mutually exclusive. You can have great regard for law enforcement and still want them to be held to high standards.”

Stewart opened the show by apologizing for mistakenly listing Dante Parker alongside recent victims of police shootings like Tamir Rice and John Crawford in Ohio. Parker was actually Tased during an encounter with San Bernardino County sheriff’s deputies this past August before dying at a local hospital. His cause of death was listed as a drug overdose.

Stewart was upset with himself for the error, he said, because it would shift the discussion away from the larger issues surrounding police use of force.

Jon Stewart Destroying Fox's Brian Kilmeade Video Courtesy of Comedy Central:

"MEDIA COUNTER-ERRORISM"

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Fox news lies constantly, its to the point where media outlets and journalists alike - they just ignore Fox and move on to the real news of the day.

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Roger West

JON STEWART TAKES ON "ISOLATED INCIDENTS", "RACIAL ARSONISTS" AND "RACE INSTIGATORS"

JON STEWART LAMENTING FOX NEWS ON FERGUSON PROTESTERS

Jon Stewart just back from a week off, laments Fox News and it's "paid" commentators for its views on the Ferguson protests.

The unrest inspired by the killing of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo., and a grand jury’s decision not to indict Officer Darren Wilson in his death have nothing to do with race. Or so Fox News would have you believe.

Stewart looked at the skewed framing of the Ferguson protests by one particular network, Fox News. And then Stewart methodically ripped their posterior. He called out Fox News' hypocrisy, their blatant ignoring of "systemic injustice,” and Fox News' insistence that the protests were incited by "race arsonists."

Video Courtesy of Comedy Central

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Nothing more to say other than "nailed it"!

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Roger West

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE"

GOP SKULL FUCKS DEMOCRATS SAYS JON STEWART

The most surprising part of Tuesday’s Republican dominance in the midterm election, Daily Show host Jon Stewart said, was their conciliatory tone afterwards — particularly impending Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.

Who the fuck are you people?” Stewart asked. “I gotta tell ya, that sound byte would probably have been better not coming from the guy who, for the past six years, has been one of the sole owners and operators of this country’s perpetual conflictionator.”

Stewart’s team also criticized Democrats for allowing the GOP to deliver what he called “a tectonic skull-fucking,” complete with a graphic showing an elephant mounting a donkey.

“By the way, that is the new congressional seal,” he said, pointing at the image. “Feel free to print it out, put it on your backpacks, and show people at your grade school that you’re interested in politics.”

Stewart got into an argument with correspondent Jordan Klepper when Klepper tried to give the Republicans credit for successes achieved under the Democrat-controlled Senate.

“If Democrats had accomplished all of that, they would have been out there bragging about it for months,” Klepper said. “It would have been the central message of their campaign instead of their actual message, which was like, ‘We’re sorry, don’t be mad! We don’t like Obama, either — we like guns, too.’”

TEKTONIC SKULL FUCKING [Full Episode] Video Courtesy of Comedy Central

Bottom line, liberals are lazy voters.

FACT: The FEC reports that combining the total number of votes cast by Americans for president, House and Senate in 2012, Americans voted for the GOP 158,605,000 times and for the Democrats 176,167,000 times. In other words they cast over 17 million more Democratic votes than Republican votes in 2012.

For those who failed to do their civic duty - may you get what your deserve!







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Roger West

VOTE FOR US OR GET BEHEADED WHILE POOPING BLOOD

JON STEWART EVISCERATES THE GOP MID-TERM ELECTIONS

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart with his final edition of Democalypse 2014 prior to the midterm elections today, which as he noted, aren't looking too good for Democrats if the recent polling is to be believed.

The Republican mantra since , Oh..Nixon, "We will Lie, Cheat and steal your vote" at all costs and blame Obama because, well because its what they do.


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Its not too late to vote. Don't know where to vote, click this link to find our "where's my fucking polling place".

In many countries, voting means everything, so much so that their governments have laws called "compulsory voting", where slackers and lazy asses are punished for not voting.

Many have fought for your right to vote, get out and do so!

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