|Jon Stewart Dissects The GOP|
Jon Stewart last night focused on a story missed during his hiatus last week: the Republican party’s autopsy report. Stewart was less than impressed, joking, “It is a time of reflection and soul-searching for the GOP, and we’ll let you know if they find one!”
Stewart mocked the very name “autopsy,” which basically likens the GOP to a “bloated corpse.” He said that the idea of softening tone instead of policy amounts to just tell gay people they are living in sin… with a smile on your face.
STEWART PART 1
Stewart likens the American Taliban's autopsy recommendation of creating pilot programs for conservatives in urban neighborhoods to a Western explorer living amongst natives. Their attempts to engage minority voters and re-tool their message for those markets made the GOP comparable, in Stewart’s eyes, to Kool cigarettes, because both organizations have “seemed indifferent to the overall health of minorities.”
STEWART PART 2
With the American Taliban it's not the messaging that's the problem, it's the message.
The future of the Teapublican Party will depend on how effectively they can reign in the irrational rhetoric of their tea party contingent, and to what extent they continue to embrace the extreme policies that they espoused during the 2012 campaign season, specifically:
- Corporations are people.
- Voting is a privilege, not a right.
- Federal workplace standards and business regulations are unAmerican.
- Women need to be employed to have dignity and self-worth … unless they are mothers, in which case their place is in the home, not the workplace.
- Women who use birth control are sluts.
- A chicken in every pot, and a spy-cam in every uterus.
- Abortions performed in certified medical clinics must be banned, no matter the circumstances of the pregnancy. Much better to have said procedure performed with a wire coat hanger in a back alley, or with a chemical coat hanger provided by a non-accredited physician in a dingy third world doctor's office.
- College students are snobs.
- Students who must obtain federal loans are unworthy of a college education.
- Public education is part of a left wing brainwashing conspiracy.
- Critical thinking leads to heretical and treasonous behavior.
- Gay Americans are an abomination.
- Poor people deserve to be poor.
- Union workers are socialist thugs.
- The unemployed are lazy parasites.
- Latinos are illegal until proven otherwise.
- Naturalized citizens with heavy accents are not true Americans.
- The Bible trumps the Constitution.
- America is a Christian nation.
- Secularism equals Satanism.
- Global warming is a hoax.
- Environmentalism is unpatriotic and an attack on the will of God.
- The U.S. auto industry should go bankrupt.
- Cutting taxes for the ultra-wealthy and subsidizing corporations is patriotic.
- Cutting taxes for the middle class and providing funding for Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, and the Food Stamp program is unpatriotic.
- The military desperately needs more fighter jets, tanks, and naval ships -- the Joint Chiefs just don't realize it.
- If you cannot afford to pay for your family's health insurance coverage or preventative health care, then all of you are simply taking up oxygen and deserve to die anyway.
- All progressives are communists.
- Liberal Democrats hate America.
- Secession from the Union is the ultimate expression of patriotism.
- The U.S. President is a Muslim socialist agent from Kenya.
- Slavery was a good thing.
The list of bullshit from the GOP is a never ending saga - but you get the picture.
"Autopsy's" are normally done on the dead, and while I loathe the American Taliban, our country is a two party system - the GOP shows us what's wrong with our society, shows us how not to be, and shows us that the GOP's problems are a plethora, and no amount of autopsy is going to fix that.