As told by Bill Pickering
He said these will be found in the new version of Exodus – once all them terrorists, rapists and druggies leave to go back to Syria and Mexico The He laid the following on me –
I - I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, because it smells and is filthy and full of foreigners . You shall have no other gods before me, except the NFL, NASCAR, & pursuit of a dollar.
II - You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, unless its used to damn the Hispanics, the welfare recipients, the informed without healthcare.
III - Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Unless you’re not making your margin, then rotate and spilts shifts so you don’t have to pay overtime and make those lazy slobs who were too stupid to make a business of their own to work to cover your 24 x 7 internet business (remember – order online and you don’t have to pay sales tax!)
IV - Honor your father and your mother, Not you Mother and Mother, or Father and Father.
V - You shall not murder*. *except if you don’t like their skin tone, they’re not Christian, they’re foreign, you need their oil, they’re a gynecologist who will perform abortions, they’re the guv’nmint and they made too many laws restricting the 2nd Amendment.
VI - You shall not commit adultery*. *unless running for office, then its okay, just switch religions at every third divorce (see Newt Gingrich)
VII - “You shall not steal.
VIII - You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor; unless he’s running against you for office, you’ve poisoned his water, he’s informing someone about something you did that will hurt them
IX - You shall not covet your neighbor's house; just wait till he goes bankrupt and then you can buy it from the bank for pennies on the dollar. (see Donald Trump or attend Trump University for more information)
X - You shall not covet your neighbor's wife; especially if she’s a pig (I mean, c’mon just LOOK at that face). However, if she is really hot, you can.
NFTOS
Staff Writer
Bill Pickering
